Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
