No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think a kid would responsible me up
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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