then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize