so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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