No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
