so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
