on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
