no, he came in my armpit
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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