i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
