There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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