that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize