At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We just shotgunned beers for America
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
