Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
