I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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