my phone cant type all the emotion im having
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
