brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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