Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
