i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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