my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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