He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
