Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
