i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
