Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
