drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
