Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i drank out of a bidet.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
this hospital has no fireball
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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