She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you would pick up someone in the library
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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