I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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