We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
