Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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