They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
