ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
