Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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