Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
