I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
