home. puking in laundry basket.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
