im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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