so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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