i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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