I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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