I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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