ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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