Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
third nipple confirmed
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
