i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
