I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
