woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my shit smells like andre
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
