Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
