none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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