im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
