I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
