dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
