**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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