Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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