Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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