also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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