Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
