Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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