dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize