I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just googled if crying burns calories
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
