Reggie can tackle my bush.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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