Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
