Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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