When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
